You could be forgiven for the assumption that leading a double life is something that only happens inbetween the pages of your latest novel from a good old bit of espionage or when viewing a spy film featuring a dapper man in a tuxedo mixing a martini surrounded by lots of deadly state of the art gizmos and gadgets.  Its association has always been the exclusive domain of professional spies, secret agents or undercover operatives with strange foreign accents. 

However, the reality is very different; as ordinary men and women hide the most extraordinary secrets from those closest to them.

So, what is a double life, how do people manage to have one and why do people resort to such a thing?

The expression 'a change is as good as a rest' or 'change is always for the better' really doesn’t apply to this situation, as nothing can be worse than a person finding out that someone very close to him/her is leading a double life.  It will always be a complete mess of both emotions and respect and never end well.

We all want to believe that our relationships are free of deceit and lies and do not wish to even contemplate this would ever happen.  After all a cheating spouse is something that only happens to other people; those who feature in 'Take a Break'or appear on 'The Jeremy Kyle Show'.

Regrettably the reality is very different, and it may even be your spouse who is living a double life right under your nose! 

However, for anyone to attempt to walk on two unconnecting roads at the same time is simply not achievable and can only lead to dangerous destinations.

Leading a double life is not as uncommon or abnormal as it may sound as according to recent statistics, 70% of all males and 50% of all females will have an extramarital affair at some point over the course of their marriage which implies most people, at some time in their life, are going to lead double lives.

With life being lived in the main in the cyber fast lane such a thing is seen a lot on the internet as well, wherein a person communicates in an abstract and virtual world. There are hardly any ways to find out if the information being provided is true or not which can have dangerous consequences.

But who goes out of their way to demonstrate a consistently devious and sneaky nature with the ability to carry out a double life?  Especially over the long haul, in addition to the time and energy it takes and finally with big enough balls in place to think that they won’t be found out and that it’s OK to do it in the first place!

If your life path takes you into the garden of temptation then isn’t this a great time to stop and have a review of where you’re at, and what you really want.  Surely, this is the time before the bite of the apple (or cherry) to reflect, be honest? 

Whatever the reasons that have caused you to go off track where the grass is looking seriously greener for whatever reason then isn’t this a time to check the size of your balls again and conclude I will do this properly.  I will reset my life’s sat nav and moral compass and redirect myself onto the correct pathway and finish what I am in before I start something new.

Did you do everything you could to rekindle or salvage your current relationship?  Is your partner even aware of how you are feeling?  Don’t you owe them the respect you once felt and gave before you choose to move on?

I am not saying that any partner who is being told they are no longer loved, wanted or needed is going to be over the moon at such revelations, but surely the pain and hurt they will feel will be nothing compared to what it would be like 12 months/5 years/10 years or more down the line when they discover that the person they have lived and loved has been leading a double life which makes them initially want to pickle their head in a jar (the perprators head).

Sometimes it is difficult for people to understand how it is possible for others to lead double lives – surely, he/she knew especially when the cat falls out of the bag after more than a decade!   Were they walking around with blinkers on?  Didn’t they see the signs?  Surely there must have been something telling?

I do believe there are some generic signs anyone can look for if they suspect their partner, but sometimes they are to no avail as a new level of deviousness kicks in above and beyond what is expected or accepted and that’s why people don’t see it initially or if at all.  Its hard to ever believe that another person could or would treat them in such a way, let alone the person they vowed to be with for the rest of their lives.