STEP ABOARD IF YOU DARE!

On Team Unison Scarlett asks if anyone wants to go forward for Project Manager.  Thomas is the first to express an interest due to a vision he has already had in his head exciting him.  As a thrill seeker he loves nothing more than a roller coaster. (Now Thomas in cockney slang Roller coaster means poster – not got confused, have you?)

But Lottie who is not Thomas’s no 1 fan decides to rain on his parade or piss on his POV (roller coaster talk for Point of View) interrupting him in her painstakingly patronising speak saying “Absolutely Thomas I just really worry, (Really Lottie do you?), with Tommy the Talking Turtle you were very, very interested in the concept you really, really loved it and got carried away.  A low blow Lottie Tommy the Talking Turtle was a task 3 weeks ago – surely, she could have come up with something more current to use as a weapon of massive destruction?

But undeterred Thomas wasn’t going to let Lottie dampen his enthusiasm; “If I get it right, it will be the best ride in the world!” Oh, Thomas the nation loves your positivity!  Apart from stoat face Lottie who thinks it’s perfectly fine to constantly interrupt others.  But a bit like a mastermind contestant she had once again started so wanted to finish; “OK, but Thomas if you get it wrong one of us is going home”.  Taxi for Lion!

Scarlett who has done the same thing in previous tasks where she asks the original question, waits until people are disagreeing and then saves the day with her sensible approach “I’m happy to put myself forward for the leadership.   I’m not as enthusiastic on rollercoasters but am keen on making sure everything is kept on task“.  Oh well done Scarlett!  Lottie backs Scarlett up just as Scarlett was the only one to back Lottie in last week’s task – perhaps they are roomies back at the house?

“Scarlett you have got logistically the talent to make sure we hit our deadlines”  A compliment falling from the normally acerbic mouthed Lottie, it could have been rehearsed as Scarlett finalises the arrangement to keep Thomas away from the PM position and save the day “Only if you guys are all happy with that”.  The expression you guys is not only old hat but so false.  The word fantastic that left Thomas’s mouth wasn’t convincing but the look on Lottie’s face was!  Like the cat that ate the canary she looks at Thomas as if to say; see I will get what I want, and you wont!

Thomas was coasteering into a roll of creativeness setting the scene for the best ride ever – “Its year 3000, there’s no gravity so you gotta spin round to push it back again.  It will be a roller coaster with more loops than any other coaster!  It will go faster than any other coaster!”  Steady on Thomas!  But Thomas was too excited until Scarlett asked who would actually like to go on that ride?  Hold on – Marianne would and so would Dean- good enough for Scarlett who then praises Thomas – Well Done Thomas!

Lottie face now looks like thunder!  Well done Scarlett!

Scarlett allocates Lottie, Iasha and Thomas onto the Marketing Team and what is becoming a regular thing, Lottie puts herself forward for Sub Team Leader in the belief she can communicate well with Scarlett.  Scarlett who likes to check everything with everyone asks if everyone is happy with Lottie being sub team leader. Don’t you hate it when it’s a done deal and lip service kicks in!

Thomas said No, he wasn’t happy, he gave forward the idea, in fact the whole concept and could sell the story.  But before he can finish Lottie decides to not only interrupt but patronisingly explains she can see his is getting very enthusiastic, perhaps even carried away.  Call for a doctor or perhaps Lottie why not just take him outside and shoot him!

Lottie is officially made Sub Team Leader regardless of what over excited Thomas has to say!

Cue Thomas; “Scarlett is a nice girl but she’s not that bright sometimes!  I told them how passionate I am about this, how I can bring it to market, how I can pitch it.  Everyone’s said yeah great idea and then she decides to run it and stick Lottie in charge – it’s ridiculous!” Ridiculous or premediated?

Scarlett shares with Dean and Marianne her rationale for putting Lottie as Sub Team Leader, which is to rein Thomas in, in the hope their working relationship would be one of productive conflict.

Cue Lottie who was already taking the reins and lording it over Iasha and Thomas giving them instructions of what they needed to be aware of before they all trialled a roller coaster ride.  Be aware of the feel of it – Don’t some people just talk for the sheer sake of it!

Thomas still enthusiastic can’t wait to have a go.  Lottie and Iasha sit on one side whilst Thomas who seems to have lost his shoes and socks sits on the other.  Lottie puts her hands in the air like she just don’t care and at the end of the ride Iasha exclaims that it was so much fun.  Think that Iasha just thought this was a day out forgetting to get involved and Thomas still excited wants another go!

Marianne on the PM team goes loopy with the pen and flipchart drawing a series of loops around a circle representing the earth and around the moon after the fastest launch repeating it manically like a weird mantra.  We get the idea Marianne!

Cue Karen with words of wisdom; “On this ride they want it to be the fastest, they want it to have the most loops, I wouldn’t want to be sitting near anyone on that as I would be covered in sick”.

Lottie makes contact with Scarlett to see how they are getting on.  Thomas is saying spaceship for the vessel to ride in but before he can finish explaining, Scarlett wants him to hear the rest of their ideas which causes immediate frustration for Thomas feeling as though no one listening to him regarding a key piece of information

Lottie shares with Scarlett that the most major loop rollercoaster in the UK has got 14 loops so suggests they make it 15 loops to up it by one and then their USP will be the most loops.  Scarlett is delighted.  Lottie is happy.  Happy Thomas? she asks.  Very happy he replies. Ok I will take your word for it!  Oh Lottie, you can’t let it rest can you!

Thomas then comes up with The Final Loop for the name and also has an idea for an image and logo for the poster which Lottie exclaims is exactly what she had in mind!

Cue Lottie “Irritatingly I must credit Thomas for the majority of ideas in this task, I feel Iasha should be more forthcoming as if it had been myself and Thomas, we would have ended up with the same result”.

To bring Iasha into the proceedings or to make the point Lottie asks Iasha if she has any ideas.  Iasha says not although she did scribble a very similar design - that old chestnut Iasha!

Scarlett is recapping their creation; 15 loops with the fastest launch.  Marianne is excited to announce it will be from zero to 120 mph in 1.5 seconds and says farewell to the laws of physics.  The ride will corkscrew along its journey at an amazing speed leading into finale loops around the earth.  Dean endorses this as the ride for adrenaline junkies stating he would like to go on the ride and make it the best ride in the world – can’t see that happening any time soon Dean!

Meanwhile Thomas is popping on a shiny silver space suit to become Captain Thomas, Captain of The Final Loop even though you can still see his pink tie!  It’s time to create the poster and with Lottie at the helm no doubt it’s going to be fabulous – or is it?

Lottie wants a fighter jet to be the vessel in which the silver suited duo will be situated in on the front of the poster which Thomas recommends it needs to be connected to the tracks of a rollercoaster for it to flow and connect.  Lottie is having none of it and is sticking to what they told the PM.  She feels Thomas has had too much control over everything and announces they should work as a team.  In the next breath she dramatically announces “I’ve made a decision” 

So, you’re not working as a team states Thomas given it’s not a team decision Lottie is after.  Losing her cool, getting her bun in a twist very tight lipped she tells him all they have done is listen to him all bloody day – no need for the profanities Lottie!

With the bee firmly in her bonnet she tells Thomas she has made a decision.   

Cue Thomas; “It stresses me, it appears they don’t understand the process, I thought Lord Sugar was looking for a business partner, but some of these people haven’t got any ideas at all - it’s ridiculous!

Lottie tells Thomas; “If you don’t like it then tough!” Great people skills Lottie once again!

With the marketing material complete and the rides signed off tomorrow it’s time to pitch to the park

The next day Thomas is excited to see the ride which he enjoys immensely meeting his vision!

Lottie so excited to show her team the poster and unveils it only to get disapproving comments from her old mucker Scarlett – “Thought it’s the world’s highest number of loops with the fastest acceleration? Disappointed that USP not mentioned on the poster. Scarlett ever the diplomat wants to know how the Sub Team had got on working together.

Thomas said that the job had got done being positive by saying it they had done a blinding job but at times commenting that due to Lottie’s age he hadn’t risen to her baiting and rudeness and he felt she had let herself down.

Give one piece of deserved criticism and expect to receive a volley of spitefulness as Lottie’s backhanded comment to deflect any further conversations about her attitude and behaviour as she accuses Thomas of letting the entire team down with his behaviour.

Sensing unproductive conflict sensible Scarlett proposes to look at the team mix for the next tasks ahead and places Marianne in with Lottie and Iasha to go and get some consumer feedback whilst, she Thomas and Dean think and prepare the pitch.

Scarlett reminds her team they want to win the task and not be sitting in the board room bickering.  Absolutely says Lottie either completely oblivious of her nasty nature or quickly wishing to move on.

Minus Thomas, Marianne who has had a very turbulent relationship with Lottie feels it appropriate to stir the pot stating she is unclear to what happened?  Lottie quick to throw Thomas under or off the nearest rollercoaster, preferably their own going at the fastest speed possible explains Thomas dominated the first half which they allowed him to do – that was jolly good show of her- she speaks on behalf of mute Iasha bringing her onto her side of thinking when it suits but because in her opinion he got carried away and then didn’t get his own way, he threw all his toys out of the pram! Not hard enough and shame not in your direction Lottie!

Lottie provides the team with feedback from the public which included; too intense, too fast, a lot of loops, question - are sick bags provided and USP’s not included on poster.  The one she made the final decisions on!

It’s showtime and in a 4d theatre with not an empty seat, a crowd of ride enthusiasts with people that matter from the park (Thorpe Park) and of course Karen and Claude (neither look happy to be there 3d glasses in hand) are ready to experience the ride of their lives.

Enter Team Unison to the theme of ‘Spacema’n and its Captain Thomas in his shiny space suit making people feel welcome engaging with the audience as he greets them as fellow space warriors, making them aware of their mission ahead and making sure they are ready for take off.  5,4,3,2,1.  They are ready and off they go catapulted out at the speed of light.  The audience are jolted back and forth, heads go back and forth as they loop the earth 15 times before the ride is over and there is no time to go back to retrieve their stomachs.  Glasses off and even the thrill seekers look a bit jaded by the experience.

Dean explains they have the greatest number of loops and fastest acceleration.  Scarlett describes it as innovative and thrilling and excitedly announces their engaging marketing campaign endorsed by Lottie who states their ride is unique and really, really enticing!

Questions from the riders and people that matter in the decision making to whether they will win or lose.  First opinion; it made her feel sick – clearly something given in feedback and yet not a substantial answer provided, instead Marianne gives some bullshit about putting in banks to slow down at times and cannot even pronounce the word nausea.

The Creative Director asked why not show someone on the ride itself on the poster just as Thomas had suggested yet  Lottie had refused because she wanted to make a decision whilst working as a team. 

Now who hasn’t spoken – ahh Iasha, the storyteller; “What we really wanted to do was capture the mood and the theme of the rollercoaster so you might notice that parts of the earth are glowing and that is the lava coming up from the earth and it all ties in to the story of where we are taking the customer” WTF?  What had that spiel got to do with the price of bread – wake up Iasha, were you part of this task?

Another representative of the Park stated they had mentioned about breaking world records asking how the consumers would know, being there was no mention of anything on their promotional poster.

Step up Scarlett who submissively suggests if that was something key to them, it would be something, they could incorporate.  Very generous Scarlett!

With the pitch over Scarlett is quick to congratulate the team.  On what, well she doesn’t specify so maybe we must conclude that once again these potential business partners like to demonstrate short term memory and celebrate the opening of an envelope.

In this moment of positive interaction Lottie tells Thomas, “We had automatic customer engagement because of you, so well done!”  Amazing Lottie is like the rollercoaster they created and is the chameleon of compliments depending on how she is feeling and being seen.

With the pitches over, the next destination is the boardroom promising as many highs and lows as both of their rides.